I would like to build on the theme of my last blog (so if you haven't read it, do so now-I'll wait...) about the little things in life and the impact they can have.
I went to work today as I have every Friday for months now. Friday's I work at the plant, whereas the rest of the week I am in an off-site office. I'm driving in today on warm and rainy morning. I get off on the exit near my work and a very normal scene awaits me. I sit at the traffic light (it's always red) glance over at the homeless man holding his sign, his eyes never landing on anyone. The thoughts start going through my mind. Why don't I do something? I have no cash, but I have a lot of change. Would he care? Does he want money? Is he an alcoholic? Mentally unstable? A war veteran? Maybe he's faking it and this is what he does "for a living"? I've got my lunch, maybe I should give him something to eat?
The light turns green and I go on. I think about him for the rest of the morning, trying to rationalize my decision to do nothing. The thoughts fade away as the day wears on. Things continue on as normal the rest of the afternoon. The time comes to leave and I pull away. I pass the spot where he usually sits. It's now empty. My mind starts again. Where did he go? Does he have another "spot"? Did he get into his hidden car and drive to his nice house to clean up? Is he under a bridge somewhere? In a church or shelter somewhere? Did he get arrested? Is he in the hospital?
Again the light turns green, I turn the radio up and head home. The thoughts of work leave me and I start to relax. My mind turns to other things. And so it goes every Friday.
Today was quite normal, going through the same round of thoughts as I passed by the man on my way into work. All morning the thoughts remained. I couldn't shake it. Was it the sight of him standing there in the drizzle? Why couldn't I get it out of my head? Why did I want to? Is that the right way to be? What kind of a person am I?
Lunch time comes around and I am still thinking about the man. I have other things going on, as well. Besides work I am fixated on a thread from another forum I am on. I am angry at the original poster of the thread. She seems such a horrible person who looks down upon anyone not as successful as her. She defends and rationalizes her positions, never taking the time to step back and see herself as others see her. She just digs in further and deeper, fully entrenched in her position, never giving an inch. Am I so different? Haven't I just spent the morning rationalizing my own decisions which, from the outside, now appear so cold and heartless?
My thoughts turn to another person, from my previous post, and how much my gesture had meant to her. I grabbed my lunch and keys and left the office. I got in my car, drove to a parking lot near the homeless man, took my lunch and an umbrella and walked over to the man. I introduced myself and he gave me his name. I asked if he would like an umbrella. He smiled and exclaimed "Sure!" I gave him the umbrella and handed him my lunch, a cold piece of pizza and two apples. I asked if he would need anything else for the approaching winter. "A coat", he replied rather quietly, seemingly shocked at the question. I told him I would see what I could do and I would be back next Friday. I told him it was good to meet him and he thanked me repeatedly. His gratitude was real. I patted him on the shoulder, turned and walked back to my car.
I don't know what he did after that. Maybe he sold the umbrella for a few bucks and got alcohol. Maybe he went found a dry spot to eat. Maybe he gave half of the food to another person in need. The only thing I know is that had I done nothing, the outcome wouldn't have been the same.
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I'm a sobbing, blathering fool right now lol.... what I am about to say deserves caps, which I rarely type in because we all know how annoying it can be... but.....
ReplyDeleteTHE WORLD NEEDS MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!
I know that's not why you wrote this blog, but that needed to be said anyway.
I know so many people who would have not even spent 10 minutes thinking of that person, let alone gone back to give him lunch and an umbrella. And, you're so right: what you did today might have had numerous outcomes, most unforeseen. But what if, inn that one moment, his life changed to a different path, one leading away from the helplessness in which he has found himself?
Bravo to you and others like you. I hope, even if wondrous things don't come of your actions, his day was just a little bit brighter.
I would like to add (since I didn't really comment much on the more negative of the possible outcomes) that when we expect the worst of others, especially without just cause, and allow those thoughts to guide our actions or to cause our inaction, we become the worst versions of ourselves. Just my opinion. Am very happy that you pushed doubt and fear aside in order to do the best you could for another person. :)
ReplyDelete"when we expect the worst of others, especially without just cause, and allow those thoughts to guide our actions or to cause our inaction, we become the worst versions of ourselves."
ReplyDeleteI've lived by that code for far too long. Thank you, Renee. I love your insight. :)
I saw your mom Sunday and she told me of your latest "small gesture" (as I had not yet read the blog). When I ran across it today it reminded me of the less obvious impact your actions had.
ReplyDeleteShe seemed excited and proud to tell me your story. She explained in detail (like she were reading the blog) exactly how the gesture unfolded. I could see the pride and joy she had over your actions. Then, she said something that made me smile and recognize the power of sharing, she said she would go through storage and look for some of grandpa's coats. Surely someone could use them.
Sharing these small gestures is just another way to influence, inspire or involve those around us.
I think I'll go through my storage too. :)
Thanks, Natalie.
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